One Big Family Outtakes
by Haido Retreat
Summary: Lots of smacking, crying, singing and beating, all wrapped up in the form of outtakes! These are the scenes that were too silly or were simply not fitting in the story 'One Big Family'. Rion Sokai. Rated T for language.


N/A: **_Before you read, please bear in mind that this is a sequel. To understand the events in this story you first have to read 'One Big Family' which can be found on my profile. Thank you and sorry for the inconvenience. _ **

Hello, people! Haido Retreat here, bringing you the outtakes of One Big Family. Yep, these are the different scenarios (crack or not) that sometimes pop in my head while writing. Just to show you guys what my head is capable of at untimely hours. And yes, there probably will be more of these... But only if you guys want them! Please notice how I'm slowly succumbing down this fandom. Meh, I regret nothing.

You can view this as a kinda-sorta sequel to the actual story. Though it's not a sequel... What is it actually... Oh, who cares, I'll stick to 'outtakes'.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts belongs to Square Enix. Those wonderful people...

Also, I do not own the song 'Someone Like You' by Adele.

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><p>One Big Family- Outtakes<p>

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><p>"Ken, give back Suzu's toy."<p>

He was met with a disapproving nod and a firm, "No."

"Ken, be a good boy and give Suzu her toy."

Again, the same behavior, "No."

The older brunette slumped his head forward and sighed. _No wonder you're Kairi's child; you're like the spawn of the she-devil!_

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><p>Sora slowly released Ken from their embrace and faced him with a serious expression, "Remember son," he gently grasped the boy's little shoulders, "A real man <em>never, ever<em> makes a girl cry. They are very fragile, and that's why we, the big men, have to protect them."

"Seriously?"

The older brunette slowly turned around to find his ever so beautiful wife with an angered expression on her face and in a hands-on-her-hips pose.

_Oh, shi-_

Kairi smiled sweetly at Ken, and kindly asked him to go find Suzu so she can _talk_-she stressed that word- with _Daddy_.When the little bundle left the area, Sora felt his throat go dry.

"Before you start saying anything, can I rest assured that I'll be sharing the bed with you tonight?"

She approached him with a sickeningly broad smile plastered across her face, that to Sora, meant "You'll wish you were never born".

He swallowed hard, "Guess I'll sleep on the couch, huh?"

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><p>Xion watched as mother and son left the gazebo smiling, the scene making her smile as well. Now the other problem, she thought as she directed her sights back to the coffee table where her husband sat brooding.<p>

"Munny for your thoughts?" she asked, a teasing smile creeping up her features.

Riku turned his gaze towards her, "Leave me be," he said in a flat, monotone voice.

The black-haired woman looked at him with a disgusted and incredulous face, "_Eww_, stop being so Edward Cullen!"

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><p>"I <em>live<em> for that." Smirking, she pulled down Riku's shirt collar, making him lower to her level, "Why do you think I married you?" she said seductively. Inching their faces closer, she could feel his soft breath dance across her lips, making her feel _so_-

"_**NEVER MIND, I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOUUU~**_ "

The couple abruptly broke apart at the sound of Sora's horrible and deafening voice. What shocked them more was what their friend was doing. Sora was in a makeshift boat(on land, mind you) trying to sail in the aforementioned couple's garden, and managing to ruin it with his paddle.

"_**I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST, FOR YOU, TOOOOO~!**_"

Riku couldn't believe the nerve that moron had... Apparently Xion had nothing against it, seeing as she was laughing so hard that tears rolled down her eyes. "Oh, oh, God, I can't even-" she resumed laughing while stumbling backwards on the nearest chair.

The brunette continued his serenade in a failed high-pitched voice, "_**DON'T FORGET ME, I BEGGED, I REEEMEMBEEER YO**_- **AUGH, SON OF A**-" Sora yelled after being hit by a chair. The albino-haired man was beyond annoyed and couldn't resist another moment of the torture that was Sora's singing. "YOU RUINED MY CONCERT!" the brunette spat at him.

"WHAT CONCERT YOU FAGGOT," Riku screamed as he was running towards said faggot, "YOU'RE MAKING MY EARS BLEED _AND_ RUINING MY GARDEN!" Suddenly, out of nowhere, Riku produced a baseball bat that he was probably going to use into beating the living daylights out of Sora...

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><p>"And to this day," Riku mumbled, "I <em>still<em> ask myself how could Kairi say yes at the altar..." he wound an arm around his wife's shoulders and faced Sora who was now walking down the wooden steps leading to their backyard.

"Well, she obviously couldn't resist this _sexy beast_." He pointed to himself. Riku smacked Sora across his head.

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><p>"Come here, you gotta see this!" she waved her hands to emphasize her point. The two men looked at each other suspiciously.<p>

Kairi, sensing that they were _guys_ again, sighed, and clarified for them, "No guys, we're _**not**_ getting naked."

"Ooh," they chuckled sheepishly, "Sorry...". Kairi slapped herself across the face.

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><p>Not too far from their parents, with their backs facing them, Suzu and Ken were both staying down on the soft grass near the black haired four year old's swing. They were probably fidgeting, because the adults couldn't make out the tiniest of sounds coming from their direction. Riku finally broke the silence, "Am I the only one feeling like a creepy stalker?"<p>

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><p>She <em>kissed<em> him. On the _cheek_.

Ken couldn't believe it. Suzu _pecked_ him on the cheek. On the _cheek_!

"_Eww_, he'll get cooties!" Sora spat disgusted. The entire group proceeded in smacking him across his head.

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><p>On the sidelines, Xion and Kairi were squealing like some high school girls, Riku just stood there with his mouth agape and an unreadable expression plastered on his face, and Sora... Sora was gross sobbing in a corner.<p>

"Don't take him away from me... Don't..." he whimpered silently, " He's everything I have left how can you-" he then started wailing like there was no tomorrow until Riku kicked him and spat at him, "STOP BEING SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN FOR PETE'S SAKE!"

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><p>Before he could respond, his wife already took over for him, "Do you guys know what this means? They'll do everything together from now on! Just look at them!" she pointed her finger toward the place where the kids were playing and laughing without a care in the world.<p>

"_HATERS TO THE LEEEFT~_" Sora said in a sing-song voice.

"You guys do realize they'll end up together, right?" Kairi said to no one in particular.

"_HATERS TO THE LEEEEEEEFT~_" The brunette insisted.

Xion sighed dreamily and hugged her husband's waist. Riku, having a pitiful expression on his face, tried to voice out a protest, but found no avail. He felt Sora patting his shoulder and turned his head in his best friend's direction, to hopefully find at least him against this charade. What he found instead was the _**moron of a friend**_ he always knew with a goofy grin plastered on that face of his. Seeing Sora's stupid expression, Riku hung his head down and facepalmed himself. The brunette said a little too loudly, "_**HATERS GONNA HAAATE~**_"

"_Oh, SCREW THIS!_" Riku jumped on Sora and started punching him.

_**~FIN~**_

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><p>AN: _Yes_, I was listening to Adele while writing this. _No_, I don't regret a thing.

Soooo, if you liked this, or made you smile, or whatever, throw me a bone! ;) Remember, I always appreciate constructive criticism! :D

Until next time! ^_^


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